I know I’ve told this story before, but my abusive ex refused to let me take birth control. I was on the pill until he found them in my purse.
I went to the Student Health Center—they were completely unhelpful, choosing to lecture me about the importance of safe sex (recommending condoms) instead of actually listening to my problem.
Then I went to Planned Parenthood. The Nurse Practitioner took one look at my fading bruises and stopped the exam. She called in the doctor. The doctor came in and simply asked me: “Are you ready to leave him?” When I denied that I was being abused, she didn’t argue with me. She just asked me what I needed. I said I need a birth control method that my boyfriend couldn’t detect. She recommended a few options and we decided on Depo.
When I told her that my boyfriend read my emails and listened to my phone messages and was known to follow me, she suggested to do the Depo injections at off hours when the clinic was normally closed. She made a note in my chart and instructed the front desk never to leave messages for me—instead, she programmed her personal cell phone number into my phone under the name “Nora”. She told me she would call me to schedule my appointments; she wouldn’t leave a message, but I should call her back when I was able to.
And that was it. No judgment. No lecture. She walked me to the door and told me to call her day or night if I needed anything. That she lived 5 blocks from campus and would come get me. That I wasn’t alone. That she just wanted me to be safe.
I never called her to come to my rescue. But I have no doubt that she would have come if I had called. She kept me on Depo for a year, giving me those monthly injections in secret, helping me prevent a desperately unwanted pregnancy.
I cannot thank Planned Parenthood enough for the work they do.
Rebloggable by request
Casual sexism is when my male friends say they wish politicians would stop talking about abortion and birth control and “focus on the real issues.”
Someone asked us:
I was once told that if you can’t get the morning after pill that taking 5-7 days worth of the daily pill at once can be an acceptable substitute. Is that true?
Some brands of birth control pills can be used as emergency contraception, but not all of them. You can check out this chart to see what brands can be used and how to use them. (As a general rule, progestin-only birth control pills cannot be used as emergency contraception, only combination pills can.)
If you do use your birth control as emergency contraception, you should continue taking the rest of your pill pack as your normally would, but skip the placebo pills — your period week pills. Then continue on normally with the next pack. Your period might be irregular for the next month, but that’s totally normal.
- Nina at Planned Parenthood
Rachel Maddow schools Mitt Romney in her man cave on how babies are made and how birth control prevents that because clearly he missed health class thirty years ago, or he’s too busy with the pursuit of his ego to to think about something that affects 51% of the people he “wants” to represent
This is beautiful.
I just need to say that I love her.
I fucking love Rachel Maddow.
This video is GREAT. I HIGHLY recommend you all watch it. Not because Rachel Maddow schools Mitt Romney’s ass HARD but because it shows WHY comprehensive sex education is important.
It is important to understand what conception is and what a pregnancy is and how those are related. Apparently this is something that is being neglected if a presidential candidate doesn’t even understand it.
I also just want to point out that bills that attempt to give personhood to fertilized eggs are inherently sexist. There are no FDA approved hormonal birth control options for cis-men so the only people these bills hurt are people with vaginas. Not only that but these bills aren’t just outlawing hormonal birth control, they are forcing people with vaginas to use more unreliable methods of birth control like the pull-out method, natural family planning, or diaphragms and cervical caps if condoms aren’t or can’t be used.
AND, if a person becomes pregnant because they were forced to use a cervical cap that is 80% effective rather than the birth control they were taking that was 99.9% effective, they can be put in JAIL if the fertilized egg does not implant or if they have a miscarriage.
These are the consequences of bills like this. A person who suffers a miscarriage does not need to be carted off to jail; they need compassion and empathy and support.
The original post got quite a reaction. Now here is some science to back up my statement:
All right, I’m going to need Dwight Schrute to help me point out what is fact and what is false. (And what is bears, beets, and Battlestar Galactica).
Fact #1: Hormonal birth control pills do not always prevent ovulation.
Fact #2: When ovulation occurs, the ovum (egg) can become fertilized
Fact #3: The instant the ovum is fertilized, conception has taken place and the woman is pregnant.
The medical community has defined pregnancy as beginning at implantation, which occurs eight to ten days after fertilization. This is because before implantation, the zygote is simply “floating” about in the parent’s body with absolutely no attachment, and because a large percentage of zygotes are expelled without implantation.
Fact #4: The uterus is unable to property receive the fertilized ovum, and the baby dies.
Given that the typical-use failure rate of hormonal contraceptive pills is around 8%, not all uteri must be rendered inhospitable to implantation by the pill.
Fact #5: A fertilized ovum is a living human baby with all the God-given rights of an adult human being.
A baby is defined as a human infant, which is defined as a live neonatal human that has been expelled from its mother’s body. A zygote has not even implanted in the uterus, let alone been expelled to survive independently.
Conclusion #1: Hormonal birth control pills do not prevent conception/fertilization.
Hormonal contraceptive pills are approximately 92% effective at preventing pregnancy (as defined by the medical community) with typical use.
Conclusion #2: Hormonal birth control pills are functional abortifacients (abortion-inducing drugs)
Birth control commercials even say “Not for women who are already pregnant.”
Moral #1: Don’t take birth control.
Birth control is awesome (and so are abortions).
Moral #2: Don’t have sex outside of marriage (i.e. Don’t be a slut)
Marriage is social construct designed to subjugate women and is nothing more than a legal contract. Have sex when you want, with whomever you want, with all the protection you want (as long as everyone consents!)
Since a marriage license is just a piece of paper, people aren’t magically able to take care of a child just because they signed one.
And they’re still just as entitled to amazing consensual sex as everyone else.
I hope Dwight was able to clear up some misconceptions. Pun intended.
-TRIGGER WARNING RELATIONSHIP VIOLENCE, REPRODUCTIVE COERCION-
I cannot begin to tell you how incredibly moved I am by all of the messages, reblogs and personal storiies have come out from that article I wrote on reproductive coercion. It’s such an important issue we need to get out. It isnt some intangible idea that floats far away from us. It happens to our mothers, daughters, sisters and friends. Without further adieu, here are some of the many, many messages that have sprung from that post. I hope they paint how real and close this issue is to each of us. Click here to view essay
“My ex husband did this shit to me. Once we got married I wasn’t allowed to use birth control pills, he refused to use condoms.”
“I actually knew multiple women going through this when I was working at the domestic violence shelter.”
“Marital rape happens so often in some places people don’t see it as an issue. They think, if you’re married the man is entitled to have sex whenever he desires which is incorrect. Whether you are a complete stranger in a dark alley or married to me, you do not have any right putting your hands on me without my consent.”
“This is why I was on Depo when I was stuck with my abusive boyfriend. He beat the shit out of me when he found my hidden birth control pills.Guess who opened 2 hours early so that I could get my Depo injection without my abuser knowing? Planned Parenthood.”
“thank you for this. people do need to realize that there are TONS of reasons why people seek out Planned Parenthood or other clinics that can get them help. This is one of them. This has been going on for thousands of years, and it has been an accepted practice in many cultures for just as long. This isn’t something thats happening half a world away from you; this could have happened to your own mother, to your aunt, to you.”
“This, depressingly, is the reason I’m in the world. Except that my dad thought if my mum had a baby she’d have to stop working, seeing her friends, and would be confined to the house. It worked, my mums now 56 and has only been living her own life how she wants for the last 10 years. My dad used to refer to it him having “clipped her wings”.”
“Many voters never consider how defunding these clinics could hurt victims of domestic violence who turn to them for counseling as well as pregnancy prevention.”
“This is important and you should read it. Especially the men out there. Just because she’s dating or married to you does not mean you can demand sex whenever you want, and it certainly doesn’t entitle you to any kind of control over her body or reproductive choices. A woman’s body is hers alone, and any attempt to control it is a form of abuse.”
“Started crying reading these stories and thinking about how law makers are taking away one of the best resources for these women.”
“Wow. I went to get birth control at a doctor’s office in the community a lot of people use and they now have posters like this and one’s that explain forcing someone to get pregnant or denying, stealing birth control is abuse and where they can get help. Its great that more people are shedding light on this, just heartbreaking so many people are going through this.”
“I rarely talk about this, but my first boyfriend, who was abusive, tried to do this to me. I’m so lucky I never got pregnant.”
“I had some sort of vague knowledge that abuse like this happen, but after reading this post, I am absolutely appalled. I hope that we can continue to support programs such as Planned Parenthood to help protect these women— and the children!— from abusers such as those mentioned above.”
““Its like he wants to own me from the inside out.” Ownership, entitlement, control, power. The barefoot and pregnant tool for controlling women is still alive and well in many men’s minds today.”
“It’s about time we had one of these stories [written]”
“Planned Parenthood is so important. I’ve written and called in to all of my state officials and so many of them just don’t care. It enrages me when all anyone can think of with this program is abortion. They use this argument to rally pro-lifers and gain monetary support. It’s disgusting. We have to keep fighting.”
“One of the reasons that the whole ‘woman deliberately getting pregnant to ‘trap’ a man’ stereotype makes me so angry. The truth of that situation is that it is far more often the other way around: the man traps the woman by forcing her to carry his child. A baby is usually far more of a tie to a relationship for a woman than it is for a man because she is almost always the primary carer, so she will be unable to get a job and will be left financially dependant on her partner. It is the kind of thing that it makes perfect sense for a controling boyfriend/husband to try because pregnancy and then being a full-time mother leaves a woman so physically, financially and emotionally vulnerable.”
“My ex didn’t get violent until he was sure I was pregnant and theoretically trapped in our marriage. He was really invested in being a father until my son wasn’t enough of a reason for me to stay & I refused to have another child to “fix” things between us. To this day I am grateful for the invention of Depo since it was BC he couldn’t sabotage. “
“I almost started crying in class reading that. That’s so terrifying and awful…”
“This is too important not to share”
“I don’t want to get into details, but this is a subject that matters a lot to me.”
“Pay attention Folks. Marital Rape is Real. If my ex-husband had been able to get away with his plan, I’d still be putting up with his fat abusive ass. Thanks to Planned Parenthood I was able to protect myself and my uterus”
“I have a marital rapist in my family. Yes, it is real. Yes it exists. Wedding vows do not mean a wife loses the ability to say “no”.
“This is super important. I know people that have suffered from this kind of abuse and it really disgusts me that so many people think it doesn’t exist. Everyone should read this.
I don’t understand why people think planned parenthood is such a terrible anti-life place. It’s a sanctuary and often saves women from the mental trauma that this describes.”
“My best friend recently divulged that her father had threatened her mother with divorce and financial ruin if she didn’t get pregnant with his third child.I was literally floored.”
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